All too often I forget that being me is enough. I look at the lives of others and see everything I'm not or that I think I should be. I forget that I am the person God created and that in and of itself is enough.
I heard this quote on the radio this morning:
Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else. - Judy Garland
Gosh I love listening to WIBI. I always feel much happier and I don't have to worry about changing the station of some disgusting song comes on the radio. I even listen to them while I'm at work. (www.wibi.org- it's a christian radio station that's fantastic!) They always end up having some quote or verse that makes me think and today's did a lot...
Lately I've been thinking about the world that my daughter will be growing up in. Honestly, I'm afraid for her. I hate to think of how the world will make her feel about herself someday. I hate knowing that right now if she could understand what I say half the time she would hear me expressing my current unhappiness about myself. (My extra pregnancy weight has been making me feel pretty crappy about myself these days...) I hate thinking that my poor self esteem could affect her. I want to be a role model that she can look up to. One that finds strength and confidence in God not in the mirror or clothing size. I want to be a role model that shows my daughter what it means to be healthy, loving, respectful, caring, fun and godly.
As I think about everything I have been feeling lately I want to make it my goal to every day be the mother she deserves. Not her friend, but her mother. I want to make the tough decisions that might not always be easy but that show her what is best. I want her to know she is beautiful as God's creation. I want her to find her value in her relationship with God, not in a boyfriend or social standing.
Every day when I pick up Lucy out of her crib in the morning I tell her, "Good morning little girl! You are beautiful!" I want her to know that she is perfect just as God created her and that she doesn't have to try and be anything other then herself. I want her to know she doesn't need to try and be something she's not because she thinks a boy or a friend group would like her better if she were different.
Every time I hear this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXSkd8apbWM I think of my beautiful daughter. I think of all the teenage girls that I work with that struggle with life and have been searching for love in all the wrong places, the girls who have been searching for their identity in the wrong places.
I want my daughter to have a relationship with her father that will show her what love is. I want my daughter to see my relationship with my husband and know what she deserves in marriage.
I hope and pray every day that as her parents we can instill in her what it means to find her value in God and to have a growing relationship with him. I don't want her to doubt who she is or what kind of love she deserves. I don't want her to have any doubt of how loved and cared for she is.
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