Yes, I said it I am afraid of completely screwing up my children. And as much as I have dreamed of being able to be a stay at home mom it terrifies me. Is that weird? Yes? Okay, let me explain...
I have no excuses. I can't blame the sitter, they crazy kids she is around or anyone else. It's all on me and the crazy genetics my husband I shared with her.
If she is rude, demanding and obnoxious I have no one to blame besides myself for her attitude/behavior! Yes, I totally realize that she is only 18 months old but still that just scares me. Irrational? Quite possibly...
I am afraid I will not be patient or I will be too strict. Seriously who cares if she makes a mess of the house if she's happy and safe? Well, I do because I am obnoxious like that sometimes.
I want to be a fun creative laid back mom that fully present in the life if my daughter. I don't want to be distant or ignore her. I want her to grow up feeling loved and cared for. I want her to have millions of fun memories to look back on. And as scary as it might be to be a mom, I am grateful to have the chance to be the one that shares those moments with her...
I mean seriously who wouldn't want to remember her dirty socks and ornery smile from when she gets caught playing in the dirt?! Who wouldn't want to see her discover and proudly point out her belly button?! As scared as I am I am grateful to have this little girl call me momma... It is one of my life's greatest blessings from God!
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